3 Reasons Being Born Gay Should Not be Compared to Being Born Black (or any other race)

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This article is neither for, nor against gay rights or the homosexual lifestyle. Instead, it’s simply  about removing misinformation and logical fallacies that lead people to conclusions they may not have arrived at otherwise. Dennis Prager, a man I greatly admire, often says, “I prefer clarity to agreement.” What that means is the point of the discussion is not to agree, but to clarify, bring to light, and to be honest. Whatever conclusion you come to after the misinformation has been identified, is up to you. The goal, therefore, is to frame the debate correctly— not decide the outcome.

Much like forcing a square peg into a round hole, the comparison of the homosexual community to a minority race has been repeatedly tried, but simply falls short of logic.

 

Why? Three reasons:

 

1. It’s Obvious a Person is Born Black

It is not, however, obvious, whether a person is born gay. While the debate of whether this can be proven continues to rage on, let’s assume it were true. This is still a far cry from proving that everyone who claims to be gay was born that way. As much as the media and extreme activists want to make this a black and white issue (no pun intended), there are other reasons a person lives the homosexual lifestyle. For example, no one wants to talk about the alarming number of homosexual men who were molested as boys by other men. The same with women who live their entire lives straight, have children, then, after a string of abusive relationships with men, begin getting involved with women.

This is a complex issue that we have attempted to simplify in order to make it more palatable to society at large. And many in this camp do not want a debate, discussion, or even questions about it. It’s much easier to paint the opposition as the same kind of racist bigots that resisted the Civil Rights Movement than to address some very legit concerns.

 

 

2. A Black Person Doesn’t Change Color

Many claim they lived a lie by getting married and even having children before they decided to come out as gay. Others say they didn’t, “realize it” until later on in life. Whatever sequence of events, or mental state it requires for such a shift to take place, one thing is certain: There is nothing in the realm of race that even resembles this phenomena.

 

 

3. Being Born Black is not a Way of Life

This is the biggest and most obvious difference. I once was talking to a proponent of the gay lifestyle (I say, “talking” they’d probably say, “arguing”) and I mentioned that gay people often wrongly associate with minority races and that it’s a fallacy to compare the two. They scoffed and laughed at me. I’d obviously shown how stupid I was for saying such a thing. But in order to make my point, I asked them two simple questions:

A person, who is born gay, unhindered by any influence from society, or religion, will most likely live what kind of lifestyle?

The obvious answer is the homosexual one, ie, they will pursue relationships with the same sex.

Alright.

Next question:

A person who is born black, unhindered by any influence from society or religion, will live what kind of lifestyle?

 

Uh . . . .

 

See the difference?

We are talking about a physical trait versus a way of life. That’s huge!  How can we possibly say that how a person physically looks is the same as how a person acts? Think about it. This is the very distinction Dr. Martin Luther King was attempting to make: A person should not be judged because of the color of their skin (how they look) but the content of their character (how they act).

This comparison is a fallacy that has gone unchecked for far too long.

Another person I asked these two questions to responded out of frustration and snarled, “The person born gay will live any kind of lifestyle they damn well please!”
To which I responded, “Agreed. Regardless of how we are born, we still choose the lifestyle we live.”

 

 

Straight Eye for the Queer Guy: My Advice to Gay Christians

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The title of this article alone is sure to draw fire. And it will sound like something along the lines of, “How dare you think you can even speak to the issue of homosexuality let alone offer advice to someone who is gay. How do you know what it’s like?”

Okay, okay . . . But come on . . . You know it’s a clever title. See, because there was that TV show and I reversed the— . . . . .  eh, never mind.

Anyway comments like this have very subtle connotations. They assume that those who have gone through a certain experience, or have certain feelings, or are born with certain traits, have a superior moral compass than those who haven’t.  Therefore, if you’re not a minority,  you can’t talk about racism, if you’re not a woman you can’t talk about abortion, if you’re not depressed you can’t talk about depression, and if you’re not gay, you can’t talk about homosexuality.

Boiled down to it’s most basic form: Morality—-right and wrong, good and bad, is handed down to us by a small percentage of individuals  who possess superior powers of discernment.

Other than the obvious issue of subjectiveness with such an idea, I don’t know if I have ever really bought into the premise.

I’ve found in my own life that not being directly involved with certain situations lends an element of objectivity that is very difficult to have otherwise. In fact, some of the best, most enlightening advice I have ever received came from people who had never been where I was. Those on the outside can often bring a clarity to subjects that have, over time, grown confusing and seemingly helpless to those on the inside.

But you don’t know what it feels like.”

Right. That is true. But maybe I don’t really consider that a, “disqualifier.” Truth and error, right and wrong, very seldom have anything to do with our feelings. In fact, until recently, much of society’s morality has been arrived at by reason not by human impulses.

Example: I don’t punch someone in the throat when I’m sitting at a stop light and see them throwing trash out their window. Not because I don’t feel a deep, primal need to, but because I override that and instead, side with my intellect. I’m able to step back, evaluate the situation, and call to mind the fact that I have never once in my whole life won a fight. Which then leads me to a much better moralistic conclusion.

So no,  I do not think that because I am not gay, and do not know what it’s like, that this therefore means I am incapable of arriving at the correct point of view about it. And, in fact, I believe that people who spend too much time enveloped in the throes of certain situations have the tendency of becoming incapable of arriving at the right point of view.

 

In a Way Our Situations Are All Different–Yet the Same

 

But since we are talking about who feels what, let’s look at the other side of this coin: While it’s true I don’t know what it’s like to be a gay Christian and the pressures that it brings, gay folks don’t know what it’s like to be a heterosexual Christian male.

“Oh give me a break! That’s easy!”

Really? . . . How do you know?

Men are not monogamous by nature. They are not born having the desire to be with only one woman for the rest of their lives. And while society is becoming increasingly accepting of men who have extra marital affairs, it is still by in large condemned (as it should be). As Christian men, we have an even higher expectation. Not only are we to stay faithful to one woman, but to love her as Christ loves the Church and to make every attempt to live knowledgeable of her needs. None of these expectations come naturally.  They require a lot of patience, endurance and (as my wife will tell you,) practice.

What Not to do

So, that being said, I’d like to share some basic principles that are actually common knowledge among believers. You’ll notice these apply to nearly every aspect of Christian behavior—-gay or straight. I point that out because I think it’s important we clearly establish that those who struggle with homosexuality are not, “weird” or, “abnormal” or anything like that. They’re just like the rest of us, and can benefit from what the Bible teaches about sin, and self control.

 

1. Whether you’re gay or straight, do not equate feelings with action. It really helps to get this idea clear in our minds: The fact that we experience temptation does not mean we are sinning. The Bible says Jesus Himself was tempted in every way that we are yet without sin. The temptation and draw of something does not equal action of something. This is where our culture and the media have really muddied the waters— especially when it comes to homosexuality. Even though there is an obvious difference between feeling and action, there is a coordinated effort to blur this line. Because if it was ever widely established that being born with certain inclinations does not mean you have to live a certain way, many of the arguments would fall apart. Including the comparison of the homosexual  to a minority race —unless we were trying to say that whatever skin color you are born with determines how you must act . . . Which . . . I’m pretty sure would be racist.

 

 

Unfortunately, the result of this flawed logic is people who now think they were born with no control over how they live and act. Which is an absolute farce.  One does not need to be religious to recognize that, as humans, what makes us unique is the ability to override our more base, animalistic tendencies and when necessary, act contrary to them.

 

2. Whether you’re gay or straight, don’t pray prayers that sound like, “God take these feelings away or else I’ll know it’s your will to go ahead and do this.”  Every straight married man who prays that kind of a prayer has a frying pan to the head in his future.

 

3.  Whether you’re gay straight, don’t  buy into the lie that your struggles are unique. Once you convince yourself that there is, “no one who understands” you essentially give yourself a universal pass for any and all behavior.  As previously mentioned, experiencing temptations and feelings contrary to God’s Will is far from unique—that’s what makes you a human in need of a Savior.

 

4. Whether you’re gay or straight, do not let sexual attraction define you. Just because you have these feelings does not mean they are the sum total of who you are. If you buy into this lie, then soon you’ll develop a sense of justification for living any kind of lifestyle you want—After all, we can’t deny who we are, right?

 

5. Whether you’re gay or straight, don’t search the internet or other sources for permission to do, “whatever you want”–because I guarantee you’ll find them.

 

6. Finally, whether you’re gay or straight, get it out of your head that there is going to be some kind of finish line in this life. We are all a work in progress and nearly every Christian can tell you they are a recovering, “sinaholic” who occasionally (if not constantly) relapses. Most will live their whole lives revisiting bad habits no matter how hard they try not to. The struggle is not evidence that there is something wrong with you, but on the contrary, actually shows you’re just as normal as the rest of us.