What I Learned From Fifty Shades of Grey




WARNING: Some material may not be suitable for all audiences. Discretion is advised.

My wife had some pretty good input on this subject so I decided to hand over the reins this week and let her share some thoughts 😉

-SJ Newell


Ladies get ready!

As I’m sure you’ve all heard by now, this Valentines Day ushers in the much anticipated movie adaptation of the hit book series, Fifty Shades of Grey!

What could be more romantic than going with your significant other to watch a movie about a sexually traumatized man who, in order to bury his pain from his twisted past, abuses his, “love” interest?

Ooh! So Hot!


Umm No, NOT Romantic!

I have a question for all those who have gone out in droves to buy these books, and are drooling in anticipation of the movie . . . .What are you thinking?

Oh, how I wish my man was like Christian Grey!” Do you really? Because the way I see it, a lot of the men we all complain about are just like him. Except in most cases not as good looking and without the fat bank account.









Women WAAA, WAAA, WAAA, about how their man mistreats them, cheats on them,  and puts them down. Yet we read garbage like Fifty Shades of Grey . . . I wonder what message that might convey to men? Maybe that we want to be seen as objects whose soul existence is to please them even if it means catering to a sick and deranged past?

. . . Yup. Those are some real nuggets of wisdom, right there. The building blocks of a healthy relationship.

Then you have those women who call men pigs for watching porn. Really? Give me a break. Smut like Fifty Shades of Grey is just as bad a porn. It gives us unrealistic expectations and can lead to a false sense of intimacy.

But it’s a love story. She manages to change him and they fall in love!”




That, ladies, is why the book is filed under F for Fiction. Don’t fool yourselves into thinking that you can change a man who mistreats you just because you read it in a book. “Oh if I just love him enough and cater to him. If I have more sex with him he won’t cheat. Maybe if I have his baby he’ll change…” Good luck with that!

C’mon. If you want to be respected and treated the way you deserve, you need to value yourselves and quit looking for men like Christian Grey.


The Truth

“Of course this Churchy Fuddy Duddy feels this way …She’s probably the type of person who has sex just for procreation….her poor husband.”


If you want to go there, truth be told, even having five kids my husband and I manage to share a great sex life ( TMI yeah I know). God created sex for marriage and when used in it’s proper context, it’s a wonderful thing.

I’m also sure many of you are thinking that I can’t talk about this since I never read the books.  I did read them …Well, I attempted to read the first one. I too got caught up in all the hype and without knowing anything about it, decided to check it out.


What I Learned


So what did I learn from Fifty shades of Grey?

1. I learned that stories based on sexually abused boys don’t quite turn me on.

2. I learned that the sex sequences are boring—-yes, boring.

3. I learned I have an awesome sex life with my husband and I don’t need, “Mommy Porn” to help me with that.

4. I learned that books like this give women false representations of what a healthy romantic relationship should be.

5. I learned that we, as women, need to value ourselves more.

So, maybe you’re thinking that this, “Mommy Porn” is harmless, just a way to pass the time and I’m making a big deal out of nothing. But I want you all to seriously think about this: How would you really feel if your daughter was Anastasia Steele and a man treated her like an object? I for one, as a Mother of four beautiful daughters want my girls to grow up valuing themselves enough not to be some man’s pastime but to find themselves Godly men that will value them and treat them the way they deserve to be treated.

Just a little food for thought.


-Lorena Newell

3 thoughts on “What I Learned From Fifty Shades of Grey

  1. I had a hard time getting through the first book. If a man ever decided to “spank me for punishment”, rather then just for the fun of it, I can guarantee he would end up with a right hook to the jaw. I learned from the book that I am far too emotionally and mentally strong to allow a man to man handle me in such a way as to allow him to do anything I didn’t find pleasurable. My husband and I have a loving and quite “kinky” relationship. Though I do like to please my husband, it is a mutual feeling. Not one person being more submissive or dominant to the other but if I’m honest, we all play opposite rolls from time to time in the bedroom. I did like the story of the second book…since I think that’s really the only book of the series that actually established characters and plot, in my opinion. I am not opposed to women reading “mommy porn” as you call it. I am a Christian as well but hey, wanna read a book, no matter what the subject matter is, is up to the person reading it. I honestly think people don’t read enough these days anyway and if that’s what grabs your attention go for it. As for the laughable “romance” scenes, I found them lackluster and very dull. That being said, preference, I have heard plenty of women recommend the books, I just haven’t been able to bring myself to read the third.


    1. Jessica, good thoughts.

      What I think the storyline is a bit sexist. If you were to turn it around and it was a girl who had been molested/raped by an older man who then grew up to get off on this sort of thing, the book would never have made it. I find it odd that so many are okay with that.

      Thanks for sharing!


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